I cannot help but laugh when I watch the latest and greatest “reality” shows dedicated to everything wedding. Like all shows claiming to be real life, in real-time, those that broadcast “everything wedding”, are of course edited, scripted, and sometimes….and I’m sorry…dumbed down so the American public will watch. I mean, who doesn’t enjoy a “bridezilla” having her 15 minutes of tantrum throwing fame? Do I? Well not really, but every once in a while these shows do manage to produce a nugget of real wedding planning life! Think, entourage. And I do not mean the television series!
If you have been watching the shows dedicated to selecting and buying a wedding gown, or bridesmaid’s dress, then you should know what I mean when I use the word, entourage. You know, the bride’s posse she brings with her to spit out advice…solicited or not…so we the audience can empathize, and sympathize, with her plight. Come on…..they drag in a dozen women including the mother, grandmother, future mother in law, and the bridal party, and we are supposed to believe everyone is just going to be supportive and kind as the brides march out in dress after dress? Of course not! It’s television!!! However, there is something very real about having to deal with “too many cooks in the kitchen.” Truthfully, is it really even necessary?
For many years, I have had people ask me how in the world I could put up with “bridezillas,” or worse yet, the dreaded “mother of the bridezilla?” Frankly, I do not “put up” with anyone. My philosophy is, that as a business owner, you do everything possible to make the client feel comfortable with you, and that starts with the initial consultation! As I’ve stated before, I meet with my couple for 2 complimentary hours so that not only do they get to know me a bit, but I get a feel for their vision and their personality too! Any wedding planner, designer, caterer, etc., that will not admit to sometimes basing their willingness to work for a bride based on personality, is not telling the whole truth. As a florist, I turned down a couple of weddings…and only a couple…because I was NOT willing to put up with what I perceived to be a bridezilla……….but I digress. So what does this have to do with the problem of entourages? PLENTY!
As I’ve said before, I prefer to meet with the bride or bride and groom, alone. Even as a former shop owner, I enjoyed meeting the couple without the interjections of opinions, and advice, from other family members or friends. I want to hear the couple’s vision for their wedding day. I do not really care during my initial consultation who is holding the purse strings……………vision has NOTHING to do with money. Do not forget brides, that a “vision” is just that………..it isn’t a contract, it isn’t the final product, it isn’t anything other than how you, and your groom, envision a very special moment in your lives. This is not a time to take advice from well-meaning friends and relatives………..they are not inside your head, and cannot truthfully understand your ideas, style, and individual personalities, that you both would like to see reflected in your wedding! Nor should they try! An overwhelmed and confused bride is often mistaken for the dreaded “bridezilla,” and it is not necessary!
Of course I understand the need and desire to please your parents, and impress your friends, on your wedding day. I also am well aware that many, many, parents are paying the bill for their daughter’s and son’s wedding day, and that there is going to be a certain amount of advice and budget constrictions that you are going to have to abide by. After all, this is the real world….not television. But brides, try on wedding dresses alone if you can for the first time. Take your time…..get a feel of your own sense of style..consult with the professionals, and narrow the field of choices so that if or when you return to show your family and friends a those choices, you will feel more confident in revealing what you and you alone, found to be appealing, Will it keep your entourage from slinging every piece of advice at you until your head is going to explode? Well……..maybe not….but at least you began your journey on your terms. And if you aren’t beholding to etiquette, take your fiance along the first time for his opinion…if he’s willing. After all isn’t it his smile you want to see most when you walk down the aisle?
Remember, a confident and well-organized bride, is a confident, happy and calm bride! Congratulations to all the 2012 wedding couples!