Remember It’s a Wedding, Not a Family Reunion

In talking with a bride the other day, she revealed that she and her fiance were having a rough time cutting down their guest list.  They have chosen a venue that does not allow weddings to be any larger than around 125, so they are under a bit of pressure to trim the list to accommodate the venue owner’s request.  The dilemma brings me back to an earlier post on the importance of getting real with your guest list.

Earlier this year, I met with a friend, and professional shopper, for lunch.  She and I discussed one of the toughest tasks that couples face when planning their wedding…..the guest list.  I told her that so many couples seem to be stuck “in the middle” so to speak between pleasing their families, and accommodating the limits of their chosen venue.  We agreed that if the budget has that “sky’s the limit” aspect then of course you can invite a small city…but the reality for most couples in 2011-2012, is an economy that dictates much more restraint.  And frankly, is a tighter economy the only reason to trim the list?  Her husband then said something that made complete sense……”tell them to remember it’s a wedding, not a family reunion!!  Ahhhhhhh

Brides, do not forget that most of your budget hinges on how many guests you invite to the wedding for obvious reasons…………….food, drink, venue size, etc.  If you cannot truly afford to feed and entertain 300 guests…..then don’t!  All to often couples are pressured into inviting relatives and friends of friends…friends of the parents…..etc….to their wedding.  I guess if your parents are paying for everything…then by all means..invite away!  But really, is that fair?  Again going back to the family reunion statement.  If you look at the guest list and you come to the realization that you have no idea who half of these people are…then stand firm and say “no.”  Honestly, I have never understood why parents take it upon themselves to add to the guest list.  My theory is, if you haven’t seen this person more than a few times over the last 5 years…then they really do not need to be taking up a space at the guest table!  That goes for relatives too!!!  Just because you are related…if they are not an important part of your life…then leave them off!  Don’t forget, after you are married, you can have all the dinner parties, family reunions, picnics…etc….that you want.  Have everyone and anyone you want…but this is YOUR day.  Fill your guest list with the people who are most important to the two of you.  Not only will you save money, but this is a big step in making your wedding day unique and personal to the two of you.